In psychotherapy, “The Paradox of Change” is a concept that illustrates the nature of shifting our emotional state. Only when we have accepted something for exactly what it is, without adding or subtracting anything to it, can the thing itself shift.
Resisting or avoiding exactly what we are feeling in hopes of summoning something different is almost always futile. We end up wearing a mask, faking it, or walking around feeling shut down as in denying heartache, pain, and frustration, we also deny authentic joy, happiness, and other love-based feelings.
Denial or resistance is a strong self-preservation tactic. One that allows us to think we are in control. But it only gives the fear-based feelings we are trying to avoid more power, for whatever we resist persist – we’ve all heard that one. Additionally, resistance robs us of precious vitality. Expending internal energy to keep strong the barrier wall we have built against the immanent cascade of feelings that will surely consume us if we let go. And in this unprecedented time of change, we need our vitality and all the internal power we can get.
This is why I’m offering a simple technique to support us in accepting the fear-based feelings we are harboring, making room for the love-based feelings and calling back our vitality.
The Paradox of Change does not say that we must feel these “unwanted” feelings for hours, days, or even years. Most of us are doing that on our own anyway. No, the paradox of change simply states that we must accept exactly what’s there, as it is, before the thing changes.
This can take minutes… and if you get good… seconds.
A TECHNIQUE TO MANAGE TOUGH FEELINGS
This month’s technique is a tool to help us face the uncomfortable feelings head-on in minutes, allowing energy to move and our true nature to take dominion. In other words, the technique provided today can help us unblock stagnation and get the river of life-force moving in us.