Monthly Archives

July 2020

The Power of Acceptance

By Newsletter

In psychotherapy, “The Paradox of Change” is a concept that illustrates the nature of shifting our emotional state. Only when we have accepted something for exactly what it is, without adding or subtracting anything to it, can the thing itself shift.

Resisting or avoiding exactly what we are feeling in hopes of summoning something different is almost always futile. We end up wearing a mask, faking it, or walking around feeling shut down as in denying heartache, pain, and frustration, we also deny authentic joy, happiness, and other love-based feelings.

Denial or resistance is a strong self-preservation tactic. One that allows us to think we are in control. But it only gives the fear-based feelings we are trying to avoid more power, for whatever we resist persist – we’ve all heard that one. Additionally, resistance robs us of precious vitality. Expending internal energy to keep strong the barrier wall we have built against the immanent cascade of feelings that will surely consume us if we let go. And in this unprecedented time of change, we need our vitality and all the internal power we can get.

This is why I’m offering a simple technique to support us in accepting the fear-based feelings we are harboring, making room for the love-based feelings and calling back our vitality.

The Paradox of Change does not say that we must feel these “unwanted” feelings for hours, days, or even years. Most of us are doing that on our own anyway. No, the paradox of change simply states that we must accept exactly what’s there, as it is, before the thing changes.

This can take minutes… and if you get good… seconds.


This month’s technique is a tool to help us face the uncomfortable feelings head-on in minutes, allowing energy to move and our true nature to take dominion. In other words, the technique provided today can help us unblock stagnation and get the river of life-force moving in us.


This first recording provides context. It’s a short teaching on the technique.


This second recording is the guided practice. If you are new to this practice, I recommend listening to the short teaching before you practice.

A Technique to Manage Tough Feelings: Part 2

By Guided Practice

“Your vision will become clear only when you look into your heart. Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakens.”

– Carl Jung


Hi, This is Oakley Ogden and I’m so glad you’ve joined me. If you haven’t listened to Part 1 of this 2 part series, I recommend you do, it will give you some context as how to best understand this the 3 step technique.

So, let’s get started together. Again, we are using the technique of acknowledging, accepting, and welcoming challenging feelings into our hearts so we can re-gain access to love-based feelings like, gratitude, peace, happiness, and more.

Today, I’m going to use the feeling of anxiety as my example b/c it’s so prevalent right now, but you can use whatever feeling you want: anger, fear, worry, doubt… there are lots to choose from as we all know. Whatever’s there for you is perfect to work with.

Let’s begin.

Take a breath, inhaling and exhaling and become aware of the feeling that’s there. Allow yourself to feel the sensations in your body created by this feeling. We’re only working with one feeling so stay focused on the one feeling for now. And let’s separate ourselves from the tape that can play in the mind about the feeling – he said, she said, they did this, so I feel… Allow whatever narrative might arise to be put aside and breath and come back to the feeling youre working with.

And repeat with me…

In this moment, I acknowledge that I feel anxious. In this moment, I acknowledge that I feel anxious. Again, it may be a different word for you, that’s okay. In this moment, I acknowledge that I feel anxious. Breath. Inhale, and exhale.

Second step: And I accept that I feel anxious. I accept that I feel anxious. We are putting down our resistance. The feeling is here, just like clouds in the sky. I acknowledged it, and I accept it. In this moment, I accept that I feel anxious. Allow the body to soften. It’s just a weather report. It’s just how it is. I’m not going to fight it. I’m going to embrace the paradox of change, and meet it exactly as it is and shift it.

Final stage.
I welcome the energy of anxiety into the center of my heart. Again, remember the heart is like a bonfire of energy. And even though this anxiety can feel burdensome and huge, it’s nothing in comparison to the vortex of the heart.
I welcome the energy of anxiety into my heart. I welcome the energy of anxiety into my heart.
Some of you practicing right now might be served by physically putting your hands out in front of you as if I’m placing this feeling into your hands and you’re trying to not let a drop of it fall out. Take this feeling now in your hands and physically bring your hands up to your heart and press gently into your chest. Others may wish to just visualize this. You’re choice.

Okay. So, let’s go again. Together, let’s take a breath. Inhaling and exhaling. Good. Relax the shoulders. Relax the jaw.
In this moment, I acknowledge I feel anxious. There’s no more need for this energy to reek havoc to get my attention. I’m stopping what Im doing and Im looking at this feeling square in the face. In this moment, I acknowledge I feel anxious.
And, I accept that I feel anxious. It’s here, Im no longer pushing back against it trying to keep it at bay. I accept that I feel anxious. I welcome this energy of anxiety into my heart. And breath.

Again, in this moment, I acknowledge that I feel anxious. I accept that I’m feeling anxious. It’s okay. And I welcome the energy of anxiety into the vortex of my heart, allowing it to dissolve and transmute. Noticing the subtle shifts in the physical body, the subtle feelings of ease and relaxation that follow.

Last time, in this moment I acknowledge I feel anxious and I accept that I feel anxious. It’s okay. And I welcome the energy of anxiety into my heart to dissolve and transmute. Relax the body. Take a big inhale, really sip up all that air, and exhale with a sigh. One more. Inhale and exhale with a sigh. Notice the subtle shift that has happened for you. Give yourself some credit. You’ve just made room for love-based feelings! Let the sense of ease and peace really spread.

And enjoy using this simple technique whenever you wish to shift challenging emotions. Remember, we might not get to control what’s happening around us, but we can certainly influence what’s happening within. Enjoy creating your day

A Technique to Manage Tough Feelings: Part 1

By Guided Practice

“Put your heart, mind, and soul into even the smallest acts. This is the secret of success.”

– Swami Sivananda


Hi Oakley Ogden here, professional counselor and teacher of transformation and I want to share with you a technique that I love for transmuting and transforming really challenging feelings. Ill teach this in two parts. Here in part 1, Ill unpack the methodology behind this technique, step by step and in Part 2, we’ll practice together.


This technique has 3 steps, but don’t be fooled by its simplicity, because each step really requires our presence and commitment. Again, we are working on transforming challenging feelings. So, our first step is acknowledging the feeling that’s there. The second one is accepting the feeling that’s there. And the third step is welcoming the feeling into the heart. So once again, that’s 3 steps: acknowledging, accepting, and welcoming.

So step one, acknowledging. In this step we’re simply saying I see you, I’m aware that you’re there. Many of us actually spend a huge amount of time, even money and certainly effort to distract ourselves from certain feelings. So in step one we stop, take a breath, and we take a look and we name what we see, only focusing on one feeling at a time.

Stage two, acceptance. Acceptance in this instance doesn’t mean that we have to be okay with what we find. It doesn’t even mean we approve of what we find. It means instead that we put down our resistance to what’s there. We surrender, hands up and say, Okay, I’m not going to push or resist this feeling anymore. I accept that it’s here. I accept it in the same factual, nonchalant manner as I’d accept the weather outside, it’s happening. I lay down my story about it. Once again, we don’t have to like what we find, but we accept that we are experiencing the feeling we’re feeling.

In the third and final stage, we welcome the feeling we’re working with into the heart where the frequency can be transmuted and transformed.

All emotions can be measured by frequency, vibrating at a faster higher rate or slower lower rate. So love-based feelings tend to leave us feeling lighter in step, inspired, clear and connected to name a few qualities. While fear-based feelings tend to leave us feeling heavier, slower, even isolated, like we don’t want to get out of bed or we have to push ourselves to do what we said we were going to do. I think that a lot of us know what I’m talking about here.

So, when we bring the lower fear-based emotion into the heart, we’re saying I love you and accept you exactly as you are. And in my field of psychotherapy, this is called the paradox of change, which means only when we meet something exactly as it is can it shift to become something else. So in this instance, the lower frequency can be lifted to a higher frequency. In other words, the heart acts like a tuning fork, raising or shifting the vibration of the fear-based feeling into to a love-based feeling.

The heart itself has a magnetic field that’s measurable. It even has a name, the Taurus. And it’s a very strong magnetic field. So when we engage this practice, it’s sort of like throwing a twig onto a bonfire. The twig being the feeling that’s causing us so much trouble and even pain and the bonfire being the energy of the heart.

Okay, Im going to let you digest some of this information, and I’ll see you in part 2 where we will actually practice this technique together!

See ya soon!